Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The Challenge of Words

I think it’s a good idea to know your strengths or more importantly—your weaknesses. If there is something that you are really lousy at doing perhaps you should give up and not do it.  You know, that expression “if at first you don’t succeed, give it up and quit making a fool of yourself” or something like that.

In my case there are lots of things I am pretty good at. I can cook well enough to keep my husband, Mr. Lucky, and me in the overweight category. I know my way around a sewing machine. I could balance my check book if I wanted to. With a little practice I can speak Pig Latin. (Is that statement politically correct?)

However, I have known for a long time that I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. I like to sing or make somewhat musical sounds that could resemble singing to someone a mile away. If I pop in a CD or a cassette (yes…I still have cassettes) I make darn sure no one is around to hear me singing along. If it’s just me and the dog I’ll belt it out as though I sound fine. In the car, alone, it’s the same thing. I’m a master at sing-along. However, you won’t catch me making a fool of myself with those Karaoke groupies. No way. It’s no surprise that no one has called to invite me to join a choir, either.

Every once in a while I think fishing would be fun. What a riot …. for anyone watching. I spend longer than most putting the worm thing on the hook. Then I cast toward the water. My line usually gets caught on something on shore, in back or me or in front. I can do it both ways. Untangle, rebait, recast. A couple of years ago I figured that the pole was too cumbersome so I bought one of those pocket fisherman deals. Same thing. Obviously the length of the pole was not the problem. There might be a place for me on one of those funny sports fishing videos. If at first you don’t succeed ….blah, blah.

This brings me to one of my latest endeavors. Words With Friends. I just started playing this game on Facebook last week. I am in various stages of a half dozen games. Some I have already lost and some I will soon be losing.  I have four going on with sister. From the get-go I knew I was destined to lose. Judy (I’ll call her that because that’s her name) is somewhat of a champion at board games. Since Words With Friends is a computer enhanced version of Scrabble I expected to be on the losing end with her SOME OF THE TIME. I didn’t expect to lose every game. Silly me. I did actually win one game of Yahtzee in about 1984. I have held my own playing Upwords with women who considered themselves to be wordsmiths. Did I mention that Upwords is a board game like Scrabble on steroids? But I have yet to master Words With Friends. In this case I am going to keep at it. Eventually I’ll win a game…maybe by default. Like maybe someone will forget it’s their turn.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012


 I stumbled onto a list of only 5 things (count ‘em - only 5) things that one needs to do to increase longevity. Now, I’m unsure about the need to increase longevity, but I gave the list a once-over. After all, it was for only 5 things and it specifically omitted the obvious: diet, exercise, cut down on sugary snacks, and control stress.

Here they are:

    1. Engage in a hobby (I have this one covered. Facebook surely must count).

    2. Go on a vacation (I’m willing.)

    3. Sleep in on the weekends (Should weekends really be different?)

    4. Connect with other people (Again with the Facebook thing.)

    5. Floss your teeth (keep reading)

I could pretty much understand the psychology behind 1 through 4, and # 5 made good sense but I had no idea that gingivitis and periodontal disease could lead to a 23 to 46 percent higher rate of death. Hmmm. So if this is the case I decided to go on step further and make an appointment to see my dentist.  Reading this bit of wisdom and the fact that I had just chipped a tooth got me moving a little quicker to get an appointment. Dental appointments are not a treat for me.

So, last week I was all settled into the dentist’s chair all decked out with the little bib thing they hang on you. I off handedly asked the dentist, Rich Bailey, DMD if he had seen the Bill Cosby routine about going to the dentist. He assured me that it was required in dental school. Dr. Bailey is so young–I was surprised he even knew who Bill Cosby is. (I should have asked him if he remembered I Spy, Bill’s first TV show). Anyway, my dental appointment was much less painful and stressful because of the Bill Cosby discussion and Dr. Bailey’s occasional imitation of one of the Cosby Kids.

A couple hours later I ventured off to yet another appointment. Feeling the need to explain why I was talking like I had just downed a quart of vodka I explained that I had just been to see Dr. Bailey. That’s when I found out that Dr. Bailey was indeed the creator of Billy Bob Teeth. Check them out here:

After having such a good time at the dentist, what with all the fun and laughter, I have decided that the longevity list is one item short. Laughter needs to be added.  That would be laughter. So, remember, if you see or read something remotely funny, especially if I wrote it, for God’s sake, laugh. Out loud. Like your life depends on it. Maybe it does.

Oh…and don’t forget to floss.