Friday, June 29, 2012

A New Twist on Oreo Cookies

I just ran across a recipe on the internet for making Oreo Cookies. I didn’t go looking for it. It was just a click away on my Frontier homepage. As a fan of Oreos I was compelled to check it out. But why in the world would anyone think they could improve on Oreo Cookies? That would be like trying to make and bottle an improved version of Crown Royal. You really can’t improve on some things. Maybe some people just have way too much time on their hands.

Along with the Oreo Cookie recipe there was a place to click to get the recipe for making McDonald’s french fries. What? Do you suppose McDonalds has run out of them and we’ll have to start making our own? How about going to Wendy’s or In & Out Burgers?

A few years back some of my cronies had a recipe for Dirt Cake. The idea behind this clever recipe was to buy a bag of Oreo Cookies, (again with the Oreos) crush them with a hammer or some such weaponry, and incorporate the crumbs into the cake batter. Oh, sure. Rest assured I didn't get all giddy over that one. I never quite understood the sense in all that. Smashing Oreos? I take mine right out of the bag, accompanied by a glass of milk. A short glass, if you don’t a highball glass. It makes it easier to dunk my cookie.

Tucked away in my seldom used recipe box is one for making Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. At first I thought that might be a nice recipe to try. Then a wave of common sense came over me and I quickly abandoned that crazy notion. You can’t improve on, well, perfection. Especially not when you can go to the store and buy it. Back to the Crown Royal thing.

I’m all for making my own recipes when there is some money to be saved. Take chocolate wine. I found you can make your own on the cheap. In the stores it goes for around $11.00 a bottle. Here’s my recipe. Start with a ½ gallon of Sangria. I find Carlo Rossi brand to be just fine. Then you’re going to need some chocolate syrup like you would put on ice cream. Fill your wine glass (or your highball glass) about 2/3 full. Add a couple of good healthy squeezes of the chocolate syrup. Stir to mix, right in the glass. Add ice if you are so inclined. Enjoy. If you happen to be under the age of 21, go to your room and do not try this at home or anywhere else. Try it with Oreos.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Pet Peeves

I am guessing we all have them.  I do—a boatload.  So in this piece (from the valley) I’ll address a few of them. There are the usual ones: gum poppers, interrupters, soup slurpers, and grammar slayers.

Moving along… Many TV commercials have made it to my Pet Peeves List. We all know that there are way too many, but to keep the shows going they have to sell something. I’m ok with that. I actually like some of the funny ones. Budweiser has done some masterpieces. But how about the one with two blubbering women making an effort to sell some sort of telephone gizmo? I have made a mental note not to buy the device they are hawking.  I won’t mention the exact name of the product. I don’t want to plug it here.
Have you noticed the number of huge pickups with oversized tires parked in the handicap zones? If someone were really handicapped they wouldn’t be able to get into one of those rigs. Add handicap placard abuse to my list of pet peeves.

The other day a call was left on my answering machine.  Ok. Please call to reschedule your appointment. No number was left to call. Every office that employs more than 5 people has an entire litany of phone numbers. I was left to wonder what number to call to reschedule my appointment. Finding the right one in the phone book is a crap shoot.  Life would be simpler is the caller would just leave their number on the answering machine pretty much like my message says.
So you finally find the right number and it goes like this; “This is Myrtle in scheduling. I am away from my desk right now. Please leave your name, phone number, your account number, your mother’s maiden name, and the last 4 digits of your social security number and I’ll get back to you”.  Well, don’t be holding your breath. Ol’ Myrt didn’t say she would get back to you today or even this week. Myrtle in scheduling is probably at the water cooler discussing last night’s episode of Modern Family with Harvey from Human Resources. I remember when people actually answered the phone on their desk. You know--the one that their employer is paying them to answer.

In this piece (from the valley) I won’t go into too much detail about dumbass drivers. But they are out there. I’ll lump them together; the non-blinkers, who act as though the blinker is merely a suggestion. More aggravating than the non-blinker is the idiot who blinks for a right hand turn and then verves off to the left. Or the non-stop blinker. That’s the guy who drives from Portland to Seattle with his blinker on. Tailgaters. They give me the urge to slam on my brakes. The reason I don’t is the price of gas. I don’t know how the gas tank would take a hit from behind.  How about the ones who haven’t mastered the art of dimming their lights? They should be restricted to daylight only.
Then we have the incessant music. I am perfectly capable of eating in a restaurant and shop for groceries without the benefit of background music.  I can even operate a slot machine without the blast of music of which I don’t care to listen. Don’t get me wrong. I like music. You probably do to. It’s just that I want to choose my own.  Music is a pretty much personal thing. I lean toward classic rock, most anything Elvis, and Dixieland Jazz.  If my husband, Mr. Lucky, had his way it would be bag pipes and assorted Irish tunes. I am not opposed to outlawing rap, Hip Hop, and Heavy Metal.

Is it just me or have you noticed the overworking of adjectives? Like amazing. Childbirth is amazing. Shaking Bill Cosby’s hand would be awesome. The word totally gets too much air time, too. It’s often coupled with ‘awesome’ or ‘amazing’. You know, for a totally awesome whatever. Fill in the blank.
However, it would have been awesome if the jackal who called this evening to explain to me in broken English that my Windows program was in jeopardy had a sudden attach of amazing  laryngitis.  Add pesky phone calls to the list.

Last but not least is call waiting. How about when you are chatting with Eloise and she says, “Hang on. I have another call.” So there you are left in phone call la la land waiting for Eloise to get back on the line. She might as well have said, “Excuse me. I have a better offer.”
So…if you have a pet peeve leave a comment to let me know.