Something About Aunts
Perhaps you have seen the Geico commercial on TV about an aunt invasion. It is actually funny, as all commercials should be. The first aunt tells the man of the house to stop slouching. Another aunt is throwing out the expired contents of the fridge. It can even be seen on You Tube. Look for “Aunt Invasion”.
Ok. Moving on here. Fortunately my aunts didn’t get together to stage an aunt invasion. I was blessed with 6 of them. That is just regular aunts. I’m not counting great aunts or aunt-in-laws.
My favorite aunt was Aunt Pearl. Look up ‘worker’ in the dictionary. Chances are you will find her picture there. She worked hard all her life and pretty much expected that from everyone else. Different folks had different tasks, of course. One of mine was her hair. One time I went to visit here for a few days. Before I got my suitcase packed into the house she had the equipment laid out for me to give her a hair cut and a permanent. The last time I visited her in the “home” a haircut for her was involved. My sister had the misfortune of visiting her during peach picking season. Aunt Pearl might not get after you for slouching but she was not above checking your teeth.
Aunt Pearl had two sisters. Aunt Ruby was known for her perpetual rummage sales. She had boxes of “stuff” all around her patio to be sold at the next rummage sale for some charity or other. She was also a part time newspaper reporter for the Lewiston Morning Tribune. One Friday evening I stopped in at her house while walking home. The phone rings. It’s her husband who happens to be the Chief of Police. There is a fire at the grain warehouse in town. “Come on”, she says, “we’re going to get the story on the fire”. Trust me. It was the biggest fire I had ever seen before or since. She got the details and pictures and back home we went. She called the news office at the newspaper and gave them the story. Then back to the scene of the fire to get an update and more pictures. Somehow she got the film (this was a long time ago) to the tribune before the paper came out the next morning. For a young girl (me) at 14 years old or so this journalism stuff looked mighty interesting. Up to that time I didn’t realize Aunt Ruby actually worked at being a reporter.
The other sister was my Aunt Margaret. If you ever went to the bowling alley in Orofino from the late 50s until sometime in the 90s you would have encountered my Aunt Margaret or Midge as she was known. That is where she worked and played. She was a top notch bowler for many years. Her work there entailed doing everything from mopping the floor to taking care of league bowling to making her delicious potato salad. Sometimes all in the same day. She was an early riser, too. She got the family sense of humor. She was always happy to share with you the latest joke she heard. Aunt Ruby might have been able to write a story, but unlike Aunt Margaret, she couldn’t tell a joke. She never fully understood the role of a punchline. One of the highlights of my youth was the day Aunt Margaret let me play in her jewelry box. Oh, my, all those sparkly things. Dozens of pair of earrings, necklaces, pins. Oh, my.
Aunt Mickey was married to my Uncle George. By the way, I had 6 uncles, too. Unlike my mom she prepared dinner in the middle of the day. We had it at night and lunch in midday. Oft times her dinner would include her homemade rolls. Ummm. Good. Funny how you remember things about folks. I remember that she came to get me at a friend’s house the day my father was killed in a logging accident. I’ll bet she always remembered that, too. I also remember that when the phone rang she ran to answer it. No one does that now. We are not eager to renew our car warranty.
Moving from my paternal aunts to my maternal ones brings me to my Aunt Mary, my mom’s sister. Before she got married she taught school for a year in Weippe. One winter weekend my Grandmother and I caught the bus to Weippe to spend a couple of days. Aunt Mary and Granny fixed a nice meal and Mary set the leftovers outside on the window sill. What?! No refrigerator. I’m glad I don’t have to do that. I don’t have window sills that big. And where would you put the beer? And later when she married my Uncle Pert she would need that fridge for the beer. Heidleberg.
Aunt Ronnie was married to my Uncle Bob. She introduced our family to spaghetti. I don’t remember that we ever had it until she joined our family. She was also a savior on Saturday night. Before she came along Mom would fix my and my sister’s hair for Sunday School. Those dreaded pincurls. Aunt Ronnie took over the Saturday night hair-do job. What a relief. She never stopped learning. She decided she wanted to sew. She bought the top-of-the-line Singer, took some classes, and sew she did. Same thing with guitar playing. She bought a guitar, took some lessons, and played it. She was a teacher, too. She taught me lots of things over the years. Some of which I remember....like ironing a man’s dress shirt.
Oh, yeah. I have one pseudo aunt, too. Aunt Jemima. If you’re on my gift list you can expect to get a box of Aunt Jemima Buttermilk Pancake Mix.
One more thing....if I am your aunt figure out how to sneak vodka into the old folks home when the time comes.
I’ll bet you can’t wait to read about my uncles, all six of them.
